Select Page

Fifth Annual: Give up Lust for Lent

So how are you doing with the porn problem you keep saying you’re going to tackle? Are you still struggling? Are you attempting to keep it hidden from your family, friends, and co-workers? Are you still living with the shame of not being able to stop?

Well, you are far from alone. Millions of men are in the same predicament. Each time they succumb to the images, they promise themselves, “that was the last time.” But it’s not.

Studies show 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites, and 70% of men ages 18 to 24 visit a porn site at least once per month. The most active group engaged in online porn is men, ages 35 and 49. It is estimated 3-5% of the population has a pornography addiction. I told you, you’re not alone.

For a fifth consecutive year, Men Against Porn is sponsoring its annual Give Up Lust for Lent campaign, where Christian men are encouraged to take the steps necessary to put them on the right pathway in managing their pornography problem.

Each year, the response to this campaign has been positive with men taking the leap to rid themselves of this decaying habit that wears upon their integrity and shakes their position as spiritual leaders of their home.

Once again, the season of Lent is upon us, and it’s time to ask men to exam their hearts and ask God for the strength to turn away from pornography, as well as illicit chat rooms, massage parlors, affairs, strip clubs, and other activities that demean women and dishonor their wives.

You may be shocked to know this addiction is not about sex but instead is an intimacy disorder. Men abuse sex to distract themselves from emotional distress that often is subconscious. In dealing with an addiction, understanding the root cause of why it developed is a significant factor in recovery.

As we enter the season of Lent here are several steps you can take to begin the process of removing a porn addiction from your life:

1. Admit your struggles.

Denial is a stumbling block for all addicts. The inability to see the potential destruction their actions cause leaves many people struggling needlessly. Ask God to help you examine your heart and make you aware that you need assistance. “Moreover, the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live.” Deuteronomy 30: 6.

2. Ask for help.

Removing sexual sin from our lives is something we can’t do on our own. We need assistance and accountability. Seek out a trained professional and/or support group to help you get your journey going. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16

3. Do it now.

There will always be a reason to put it off, including the long-term rationale, “I will try harder and commit myself never to do it again.” But that approach rarely works. You need insight about yourself and why you use sex to soothe your emotional pain. You need to identify the core emotional triggers that lead to your acting out. You must create exit strategies that will help you escape temptation. It would be best if you had a community that will support, encourage, and, most importantly, provide accountability as you travel
along in your journey.

4. Check our blogs and articles for resources.

Visit the MenAgainstPorn.org website and check out our blog for articles and resources that can assist you on your journey. Structure and self-care are essential components to beating this problem. We can show you how.

On Feb. 26, join your brothers in a mission to re-build your integrity and strengthen your legacy. Take the steps needed to honor yourself, your spouse, and God. Make a commitment to Give Up Lust for Lent.

Porn is Destroying Men’s Legacies

How do you want to be remembered?

It’s probably not a question men often ponder. But we should. In fact, it’s perhaps one of the most critical issues we should address. Why? Because whether we like it or not, we are role models. People are watching us. And when they’re watching, they are observing how we:

  • Respond to conflict
  • Treat others
  • Approach our work and responsibilities
  • Act in moments when integrity counts most
  • Honor our wives

Whether we realize it or not, people are watching. These include our spouse, children, co-workers, friends, and neighbors. And what they’re observing is the establishing of our legacy – the way people will remember us.  

But there is cancer that is destroying the legacies of many men in our world today. It’s called pornography.  

“It’s difficult to look at him the same way since finding out about his pornography addiction,” said Mark, a 24-year-old whose father confessed after his 33-year addiction was discovered. “It’s not that I don’t love him anymore, but my image of the man who always did the right thing has been tainted by the pain he caused my mother.”

Whether your spouse and children are aware of your pornography use, you are cheating them. The image they hold of you is nothing more than a façade. Each day, thousands of men are caught engaging in the selfish pleasure of pornography, which results in the breaking of their wives’ and children’s hearts. It is a betrayal that destroys marriages and robs children of their innocence.

“My husband left his pornography unattended, and our 12-year-old son stumbled across it,” says one mother. “My son then started to act out what he saw with his 9-year-old sister. My husband’s filthy habit forever damaged both of my children. Bringing pornography into our home destroyed all of our lives, and I’m not sure I can ever forgive him.”

As men, we can do many things our loved ones respect and admire. But all those deeds are undermined when we allow ourselves to succumb to the darkness of pornography. Failing to get control of our lust can ruin everything we worked hard to achieve while leaving the ones we love seeing us through tainted lenses.

“People in our community look up to him, and he is a Deacon in our church,” remarks Suzanne, who continues to struggle with feelings of betrayal after discovering her husband’s long-time pornography use. “But the image he portrays is phony. He’s not the man they think he is. When I hear someone praise him, I cringe. Yet, he keeps up the charade, which leads me to continue to lose whatever respect I still have for him.”

As men, we must challenge ourselves to uncover the insights behind our use of pornography. You don’t engage because of a pang of uncontrollable sexual hunger. Instead, pornography is a tool to distract yourself from emotional distress. And in many cases, you may not be conscious of the emotional pain.

In his book, Unwanted, Jay Stringer sums up the rationale for pornography is a wonderful word picture. “How did I get there? One way of thinking about unwanted sexual behavior is to see it as the convergence of two rivers; your past and the difficulties you face in the present.”

To become a man of integrity, we need to understand better our emotional hurts and how they occurred. That takes serious self-reflection and courage. It’s not an easy process, but it is gratifying and fruitful. There is no doubt pornography serves as an excellent tool to help men escape painful feelings. But it’s also a damaging tool that kills legacies.

How do you want to be remembered?

Pin It on Pinterest