Take a listen to this podcast from the folks at AffairRecovery.com and learn “why” we do the things we don’t want to do. Discover how you can become empowered by understanding the rationales behind your sexual behaviors and how to stop them by staying one step ahead of the Inner Child.
No more do you need to wonder “why” has sex had a stronghold on my life. You can now discover the answers that will help you manage your sex or porn addiction. And when you are done watching the video go to www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com to learn more and to sign up for our newsletter.
Taking the time and having the discipline necessary to exercise and eat well can keep our bodies from breaking down prematurely. Everyone knows strong muscles, along with a healthy cardiovascular system, leads to overall better physical health.
The same is true when it comes to our maintaining our integrity – we need to put forth a proactive conditioning effort. It is through a never-ending, self-reflection process that we fine-tune our integrity, thus allowing us to create and ultimately leave behind a solid legacy. Looking in the mirror regularly and searching to see our faults and weaknesses is not a pleasant task but an essential one. It is by facing our brokenness that we can become better men.
And nowhere can we find better guidance for integrity and legacy development than with the Fruit of the Spirit outlined in Galatians 5: 22-23.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.”
I urge you to take a moment and carefully review these virtues. How well are you doing in each of those areas? Are you filled with love, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness? Do you have good patience and self-control?
To create an enduring legacy, we must practice the noble character traits outlined in the Fruit of the Spirit. We should commit ourselves to spend time each day reviewing these nine important principles and working to strengthen them within us.
By dedicating ourselves to the Fruit of the Spirit, not only will we cement our positive legacy, but we will find ourselves living more by Spiritual values as opposed to worldly ones. Unfortunately, today more than ever, men are being drawn into the dark world of pornography, which is a threat to their legacies. It is estimated that nearly 65% of all men view pornography at least once a month. And 3-5% of the U.S. male population struggles with a pornography addiction.
This Sunday is Father’s Day. If you are caught in the stronghold of pornography, please give your family the most valuable gift they could ever receive and get the help you need to break free from this darkness. And with this, you will be on the pathway to creating a strong and enduring legacy. And for that, the world will be a much better place.
Everything seems to be shutting down and people are locking down as the Coronavirus spreads and government officials look to contain the disease. You can’t argue with the cautious methods being taken. But for individuals who struggle with, or recently have obtained sobriety from pornography, being confined at home could increase the risk for relapse. Why? Several reasons.
1. Anxiety Regarding the Unknown
Face it, some people are worried and others are out-right scared regarding the current situation. No one knows how long this crisis will last and what its impact will be not only regarding health, but also school, work and finances. These concerns most certainly could lead individuals to withdraw into the dark world of pornography to evade their worries.
2. Distraction from the negative news coverage.
It’s Coronavirus 24-7 with wall-to-wall coverage that is bombarding us. All of the negativity at some point, will lead many individuals to tune out the media coverage and replace it with something that will soothe and stimulate, such as pornography.
3. Escape from boredom.
This of course is the most obvious rationale for someone to reach out to pornography and masturbation. Most people are not use to sitting at home without uninterrupted periods of work and school. Losing the routine of going to work, school or engaging in social activities, is going to cause individuals to lack structure, which is essential for long-term recovery.
What is important during this unprecedent time is for those who struggle to be mindful that these emotionally trying circumstances could increase the risk of acting out. And with this insight, each individual should develop a strategy to help them deal with emotional triggers and temptations. This may include:
- Participating in online and telephone support groups
- Staying in contact with your sponsor or support team via electronic mediums
- Ensuring you are limiting your access to electronic devices especially when you are feeling drained mentally, emotionally, physically or Spiritually
- Spending quiet time in prayer and reflecting each morning on things that you are grateful for instead of focusing on the negativity surrounding us
This indeed may be a very challenging time for many who struggle not only with a pornography addiction, but with other addictive behaviors including smoking, eating, binge watching, etc. But it doesn’t mean you are facing certain failure. If you maintain your focus and create a new structure to adapt to the current situation you can find yourself beating the odds and defeating lust.
2nd Annual
Give Up Lust for Lent
By Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CCSAS
Every year the conversation in our home surrounding what to sacrifice for Lent is pretty entertaining. Each individual throws out an idea, while other family members counter argue why they believe it is not a true sacrifice. It’s always the usual list including sweets, bread, or electronics. In reality, all are good ideas and serve the purpose of denying oneself over a period of 40 days.
Last year I proposed men make a sacrifice that could have long-term and healthy outcomes for themselves and their relationships.
“Give up Lust for Lent.”
The response was enormous with numerous men informing me they were jumping at the chance to rid themselves of this decaying habit that wears upon their integrity as men and shakes their position as spiritual leaders of their home.
Once again the season of Lent is upon us and it’s time again to ask men to exam their hearts and ask God for the strength to turn away from pornography, illicit chat rooms, massage parlors, strip clubs, and other activities that demean women and dishonor their wives.
You may be shocked to know a sexual addiction is not about sex but instead is an intimacy disorder. Men abuse sex to distract themselves from emotional distress that often is not evident. In dealing with a sexual addiction, understanding the root cause of how and why it developed is a major factor in recovery.
As we enter the season of Lent here are several steps you can take to begin the process of removing a sexual addiction from your life:
1. Admit You have a Problem. Denial is a stumbling block for all addicts. The inability to see the potential destruction their actions cause leaves many people struggling needlessly. Ask God to help you examine your heart and make you aware that you need assistance. “Moreover the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live.” Deuteronomy 30: 6.
2. Don’t Walk Alone. Removing sexual sin from our lives is something we can’t do on our own. We need assistance and accountability. Seek out a trusted friend or a trained professional to help you get your journey going. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16
3. Do it Today. There will always be a reason to put it off including the long-term rationale “I will try harder and commit myself to never do it again”. But that approach rarely works. You need insight about yourself and why you use sex to smooth your emotional pain. You need to identify the triggers that lead to your acting out. You must create exit strategies that will help you escape temptation. You need community that will support, encourage and most important provide accountability as you travel along in your journey.
On March 1, join your brothers in a mission to re-build your integrity and strengthen your legacy. Take the steps needed to honor yourself, your spouse and God. Give up lust for Lent!
Eddie Capparucci is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Marietta, GA. He is a certified by the International Association of Certified Sexual Addiction Specialists. He was helped numerous men overcome sexual addiction including NFL and MLB players. He can be reached at edcappa@gmail.com.
Join the Lust for Lent campaign on social media and spread the word, using the hashtag: #giveuplustforlent!
